Thanks (?) to Pat for this. He says:

OH NO!!!

A dog got loose in Massachusetts, killing a mini pony and injuring another (in the above pic) as well. Go ahead and make your Joey Porter jokes. Me, I'm focused on the survivial of the other great horse with help from the cute barn manager.

Thanks to my sister and also Ed for this. It is a goat riding a mini pony, and then the mini pony bucks the goat off its back. If you think that I just wrote the best sentence in history then let me buy you a beer.

Video below:

Thanks to Matt and Charlie and Lucinda for this. Now, my m.o. for loving mini ponies is the fact that they're pretty much dog-sized. This one ups the ante and is around pug or housecat-sized.

Whenever anyone asks why I love the adorable animals I'm just gonna show them this post.

Despite the moans and groans when the Pens and Isles were tied at 2 games apiece, Pittsburgh pulled through with back-to-back wins and a ticket to the 2013 NHL Playoffs 2nd Round.

So you better believe I got my old friend China Jack back on the horn to properly toast the passing of Round 1 as we look for positivity in Round 2. The Senators are a different monster than the Islanders, so we thank Jack for lending his calming voice for another round.

His audio is towards the bottom of this post.

***

My friends,

After 6 intense games, our Penguins have dispatched the Islanders through determination and will. The young team from New York proved their surprise playoff spot was not a mistake, as they hung around and created many problems for Pittsburgh. The experience of the Pens won out, with 2 shutouts and 2 overtime wins between goalies Fleury and Vokoun.

With the win, the ghosts of David Volek in 1993 have been exorcised and banished to hell. And the Pens move on.

Waiting are the Ottawa Senators, the next team to feel the crush of the Pens. Matt Cooke and the Pens gave the Senators reason to hire a forensics doctor team with an accidental skate to the achilles earlier this season, this time the Pens will help Ottawa conduct a team autopsy after a thorough series thrashing.

So raise your glasses, or bottles, or shots, as we toast the success of Round 1 and look for more in Round 2.

Cheers, to the Penguins! Lets Go Pens!

LET'S GO PENS!

***

2013 Pens China Jack links:

China Jack's 2013 Pens 1st Round Playoffs Toast

China Jacks' 2013 Pens Season Opening Wishes

Thanks to Timothie for this. He says:

Dude, I had to pull over off the freeway when I saw this little fella today. I think it could be good luck for game 1. Hahah

I'm for it! Only now the success of Game 1 tonight against the Senators rests on Timothie and his Australian freeway mini pony. Get it.

Trends and Internet viral sensations are fickle. One minute you're planking and the next day that's old news and you're already sitting like an owl or Tim Tebow or any other random thing that one person laughed at on a message board.

Take the "Harlem Shake" of literally three months ago:

Now at the time, it was annoying, and then the Penguins were even represented in a hockey version due to a crease scrum with the Flyers. And that was on the tail end of the meme. I mean look at that downward trend. And now at a Pens rally tomorrow, oddly for the 2nd Round, one lucky Pens rug-cutter will star in a Penguins Harlem Shake video.

We're at the point where that link I'm referencing and this PSAMP post and then the actual video will quite honestly be the first people discussing a horrible old trend in forever in Internet time.

Go Pens.

via Sideshow Raheem

Thanks to Andy for these. He says:

MINI PONIES IN MY YARD

It should be a felony to not always have a mini pony petting zoo in your yard.

Big brouhaha since Pens-Isles Game 4. The game where Sid, early in his 3rd game back from jaw surgery, took a puck to the throat just under his fishbowl jaw protector. Isles fans not only cheered the injury in unison, a bad enough showing, they used "Princess Crosby" chants which tend to incite calls of sexism because haha you're calling him a woman which is lesser than a man.

Barstool Sports got on Sporting News writer Jesse Spector's case, since Spector called out the Isles fans and Barstool responded with typical bravado. "You called a man a woman and also insulted an injury" vs. "MAN UP THIS IS HOW THINGS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN," with just a touch of that Philly anti-Sid irrationality in the latter camp. You know, where apparently Sid is a flopper when Nabby is jumping around like a pogo stick and only an Islander has been called for diving this series.

Anyway, I'm not here to sway you to either side. I'm an admitted Sid fan, and you're reading these words on a Pittsburgh sports humor website. You know my side. I'm just here to point out how crappy Isles fans are at their insults. Forget the women-bashing and injury-cheering, I'm concerned about that sign up top.

Printhess Cindy? I mean this is a great double-up, you can somehow allude to breaking your jaw as a sissy move while also making fun of a lisp created by 100+MPH of vulcanized rubber. Now, we've made fun of Bryan Murray's lisp before so that's all fair game, but what about the dedication? Why is only the first s-sound lisped into the -th? Shouldn't it be Printheth Cindy? Or better yet, Printheth Thindy. It's concerning when idiot Isles fans half-ass their shoddy insults.

Penth in Thixth thith Thaturday.

Thanks to usbzoso for sending this over a while back and to Twitter for picking today's Mini Pony of the Day. Two twin baby moose will always in the running for this honor.

In the below video, the two baby moose play in a sprinkler. That should be all you need to hear to click play. They look so huge at first, then Mama Moose comes out and completely dwarfs the babies. As much as I want to pet and play with the babies there is no way I'm messing with a full-sized moose. It's like how baby hippos are unreal and then Mama Hippos will eat you alive.

Literally no clue what that music is in the video. Mute it hard.

Thanks to Jessica and Billy and Rob and Gracie and Terry and Z P and Holly for this. Yesterday some Craigslist ad popped up with a Long Island firefighter wanting to give away his mini horse for free. This was awesome news to me, a Brooklyn resident, and I immediately began seeing if my apartment could hold a large-enough pen.

And then smrtmnky chimed in and let me know if was a prank and a fake posting. You have no ideas the highs and lows associated with the facts of this story. Now I have to go back and double check every other Craigslist mini pony we've come across.